Freedom

Its funny right. We obviously try to dislike each other and we succeed most of the time, but theirs that part of you and that part of me that has some sort of hope; even if it is hope that it will get better. The truth is that it will. Just because you cross my mind and try and make your way to my heart does not mean that it is not getting better. It just means that I care a lot more than I try not too. The truth is that I have tried to not care a whole lot. Really not working out for me. Now this isn't some pitch to get you back; but I'm just saying that I feel better caring about you then not caring about you. I have been told that their is humility in honesty so to hell with pride, yeah. So that's it. I may care about you forever or I may care about you until I wake up tomorrow morning. Who knows. I do know however that I will care about you till it no longer hurts to not care about you. There will always be more freedom in love and if you love somebody; set them free. I mean the thing is that you do not have to be here for me to like, love, or even admire you. You can be anywhere; So could I. I've always been one to resent myself over someone else. I finally figured that if I'm going to show this world love; including you; then I might as well start with myself. That is how I let go; by loving myself just as much as I would love you. Where ever we may be. Lately, things do not make sense. I guess, I'm starting to unlearn again. I stare at this blank paper with a blank expression. Funny right; how the world mirrors us. The mind gives me words, their only borrowed of course, but my soul; it gives me you. Oh; and I am not talking about the smile or glowing skin. That will leave. I'm talking about what makes you heart feel; your eyes cry from laughter. That is what you gave me. That could never be borrowed. Something like that could only awaken in me that which makes my heart feel. I think they call that home; No wonder home is where the heart is. On another note; I have a strange feeling anyways that the reason I hurt so bad is because I wanted to not care. It's in the very nature of humans to love. This nature comes from the non-human part of us. To go against this is to almost live in your shadow. Of course, even in the dark; their are fireflies. Glimpses of what it could be like. Fireflies are a lot like rain. Rain is sent to water you. So you will grow. Fireflies lead you to the light. Once your in the light; all you can do is be. If all you can do is be; then you are free.

Dreams

Sorta strange; that girl with the tattoos. Probably taken. Girls that pretty usually are. Should I lay aside manners and say hello. I wasn't raised to impose myself on another, but I've never seen one with so much style. To my surprise she said hello. Never been good with the timing of things. I was nervous; she could feel that. I peeped her heart beat though because, I could feel that. She was nervous to. We had that in common from the start. She whispered sweet somethings' to me; about how she has seen me for a while now and never had the nerve to walk up and say hello. That took my breathe away. Funny how rare that is. Her and space be the to beings to take my air away. So we just sat and laughed for a minute. A few moments turned into a few hours. I was hesitant, but I still told her that I felt like I knew her my entire life. Her smile felt like home. She told me home is where the heart is and that wherever I am she would find me; because I was home. That was the hardest part because then, she left. Then I woke up; and the rest of today is fucked.